Mount Sutro: An Electronic Periodical

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5.25-inch Floppy Diskette Article Archive

Bottoms Up

by Archived Article (2001–2014) Help
I took The Boy to Bodhisattva Social Club on Saturday night and then to The Peacock Room last night. He had never been to either, so it was a new experience for him. Not a fan of beer, he did not have anything to drink at Bodhisattva, a beer bar, but was amused by my selection of L'Alsacienne sans Culotte. If you go to their website, you can read all about this Belgium pilsner and it's interesting label. Fannie, the woman depicted on the front and who says "bottom's up" whilst showing her backside to you is wearing scratch-off panties. Go buy a bottle, scratch and see for yourself!

The Peacock Room was as nice as usual. I had my standard Stolichnaya Raspberry Cosmopolitan while The Boy enjoyed something with chocolate liqueurs (these, I believe) and vodka that was very tasty, and I am not a big fan of chocolate. Like he said, it was like a milkshake with vodka. A divine combination, indeed.

Yab Yum

by Archived Article (2001–2014) Help
After running into an old friend last night that has since moved to North Carolina, I have been feeling a bit nostalgic about the three-bar establishment that I practically lived at for fun and eventually worked for as well. For those who know me, you know that I am of course talking about Yab Yum, Inc., which consisted of the Kit Kat Club, Harold and Maude's and the Globe (after Go Lounge closed on 23 August 1999) on Wall Street Plaza in downtown Orlando.

It all started in the middle of June 1999 when my best friend Erik "Chris" Patten and I were attending various films and seminars during the Florida Film Festival. One evening while driving around town looking for trouble to get into, Chris remembered hearing that one of the parties for the festival was to be held at a downtown espresso bar called Harold and Maude's. We stopped at the University of Central Florida student union to look up this place in the telephone book and give them a ring for directions. I can still distinctly remember being there for no more than thirty minutes, turning to Chris and stating how I could see Harold and Maude's becoming my new evening hangout. The irony of that statement is only appreciable now.

As time progressed, that is exactly what happened. My friends and I made Harold and Maude's a regular evening stop to enjoy conversation, various coffees and as I became friends with some of the staff, alcoholic beverages. From that point forward, my attraction to the place only grew and the time spent there greater. There came a point where I really started to feel like I was part of a family, almost like in Cheers. Hell, I had my own spot at the bar I almost always sat at, was served my raspberry cosmopolitans in special, larger cocktail glasses reserved by most of the bartenders for me and was greeted by name by the staff and some regulars when I walked in the door. So it is no wonder that I eventually began working at this place I enjoyed so much. As one of the managers once said, "You are here already, so why not make some money, too?"

In September 2000, I began working fill-in shifts at the Kit Kat Club door, checking identification and taking cover charge money. That temporary position later turned into regular work every Monday and Wednesday evening, picking up additional shifts as needed. Finally, I was made the "door manager" and was in charge of scheduling shifts and making sure things were running smoothly. One of my favourite, yet unfortunate things, was kicking people out and having them trespassed by the police. It was a known in-joke that I was the king of the trespass, which either meant I got a lot more troublemakers when I was on shift, or just put up with less shit than others. I knew the night-shift downtown bicycle OPD cops by name.

I have never again been fortunate enough to work with such a wonderful group of people. Our establishments were frequented by people from all walks of life and our diverse staff represented that as well. It was a great way to meet a lot of interesting people, sample the best and the worst of the local music scene and just get away from it all whilst making money and having fun.

Now, that they have been gone for over a year, I still find myself wanting nothing more than to go there and just sit and hang out. No substitute by any means, but Southern Nights and the Bodhisattva Social Club downtown have taken the place of the Yab Yum threesome for me. I still run into many old regulars and co-workers, which is nice. And as silly as this may seem, I do have a little tribute to Yab Yum on a bookshelf, containing my personal cocktail glasses, a Harold and Maude's menu, ashtray, matches, roll of logo stickers and the stamps I used whilst working. Now if only I would have been able to take the whole place home with me.

Short and Sweet

by Archived Article (2001–2014) Help
No back story and no explanation. Sometimes I really wish I were straight. But then again, I see women are just as much a pain in the ass as men are, just about different things. So I guess the moral of the story is... I will get back to you about that one.

Cake or Death?

by Archived Article (2001–2014) Help
I had just written a rather large, mostly rambling post which after finishing I realised served its purpose without needing to publish it beyond my own screen. So instead, I would like to take a very brief moment to bring to your attention two comedians who I was only recently introduced, both incidentally from the UK.

First, there is the deliciously amusing Eddie Izzard whose Dress to Kill stand-up special was my introduction to his unique style and linguistic genius. The self-proclaimed "action transvestite," Izzard does not feel the need to dote on his sexuality incessantly and instead only tells a few stories about his childhood that are amusing to say the least. I look forward to having the opportunity to see more of his works, which if are anything like Dress to Kill will leave you laughing to death.

Now equally funny, but in a different genre and format, is the flamboyant Graham Norton. Norton is the host of a variety-type talk show called So Graham Norton which features a brief stand-up routine (much like the beginning of Letterman and Leno), a guest, an audience participation skit and finally a musical or comedy act. Norton's show is a fabulous upgrade from those other programmes, in the lack of censorship that the BBC show enjoys.

So, yeah, that is all for now. Check them out and prepare to be floored from laughter.

Wash and, uh, a wax

by Archived Article (2001–2014) Help
I happened upon the following AOL personal homepage text by following a user link from the illustrious and often squalid chat room. I have redacted, as indicated by the square-bracketed ellipsis, any contact information, but otherwise it is verbatim as far as spelling, punctuation and grammar.
[...]'s Home Cleaning
{picture of the individual here}

Basic Facts
Clean your home to your needs. It will be done the way you ask. 100% Most Homes are $75.00 It will be spotless when I leave for your enjoyment. Clean up after a party? Short notice cleaning? Call me [...] So give me a ring you wont regret.

Bathrooms, Kitchen, Vaccuming, Dusting, Glass Sliding Doors, and anything else you desire.

My Online Life
Contact me on estimates and prices .
Uh, so could this be construed as anything but a pay-for-sex advert? Sure, my "blinds" may need a "dusting" and who cannot stand to have their "glass doors" given a good "washing?"

This brings up an interesting idea. I could use the money and, well, that other thing is nice, too. Maybe I should invest in some Windex®, paper towels and a mop. Yeah, or not.