Mount Sutro: An Electronic Periodical

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A Parking Lot Tango

by Archived Article (2001–2014) Help
Having not been in a while and finding myself in the mood I took off last night for the Labour Day Luau T-Dance at the Parliament House. The advert exclaims they expected this event to be the most popular since the Gay Days weekend and they were pretty accurate. It was packed. I enjoyed my share of $2.00 doubles whilst dancing with my friends and the hotties writhing about around us shirtless. Whoever was in charge of parking, however, dropped the ball.

In the primary lot there are only two or so paved roads. The remainder of the rows are simply dirt and grass and as people park, rows are formed. Well due to the negligence of the parking and security staff, when I decided I was ready to go I found my car was blocked in my and another row with no exit. I drove around to discover this the first time, then parked and walked around to make sure I had not missed the exit within the sea of cars. As I was walking back I encountered several more angry individuals who had wanted to leave but discovered as I had that we could not. A man with a mobile rang the management and he was assured that security was on the way to deal with the situation. We all chatted about just calling the police and having them tow the individuals.

Then a most unexpected thing happened. One of the guys who was stranded decided to check out the two sport utility vehicles that had parked in the spot where the exit should have and always has been. The vehicle to our right was securely locked and an automatic. But the other vehicle not only had a window opened, but was a manual transmission. The man reached in, unlocked the car and then stepped away as the alarm went off. With all of us watching, he decided to move the vehicle out of the way. He released the parking brake and gave the vehicle a push, moving it to the aisle. The rest of us scrambled to our respective vehicles and made use of the new exit. I would have loved to have seen the look on the face of the owner of that vehicle.

Oh and even though all of this, the security never did show up. Best overheard statement from trapped, pissed off customer: "That's what happens when straight people try to run a gay bar." Wow, I did not realise homosexuals were better organised with parking lots than straight people. Maybe it was a new marketing technique to get people to stay and spend more money.